MY DAILY LIFE TORAH COACH:
Parshat Tol’dot n.06

Toldot tells the story of Isaac and Rebecca’s twin sons, Jacob and Esau, who strug- gle in the womb and seem destined to clash throughout their lives and those of their de- scendants. G-d reveals to Rebecca that from her sons two great nations will be descended – Edom/Rome & Israel. Esau is born first, then Jacob, holding onto Esau’s heel. As they grow, their paths separate: Esau is a hunter, whereas Jacob sits in the tents of Torah developing his soul. On the day of the funeral of their grandfather Abraham, Esau decides to sell Jacob his birthright for a bowl of red soup. Issac wants to escape to Egypt when a severe famine strikes Canaan, but G-d reminds him that because of the Akeida, he has attained a special holiness and must never leave Israel. Abimelech makes a treaty with him over the wells of Abraham. Issac summons Esau to give his blessings. Rebbeca helps Jacob impersonate Esau, so that the blessings go to Jacob. Esau discovers what has happened and he, too, seeks and is given blessings. Esau vows to kill his brother, so Rebbeca sends Jacob to her brother Lavan’s home.

Reading and trying to better understand the complexity of this Parasha, I decided, as a woman myself, to concentrate on Rebbeca as a wife, mother, mother-in-law, and woman who speakes directly to G-d. Toldot depicts Rebbeca as direct and sort of manipulative but also loving and discriminating.How should we feel about this type of woman? The answers may lie in the lens through which each of us read this parasha – based on our own stories, culture, education, and insight on life.

As we remember from last week parasha, Chayei Sarah, Rebbeca is from the start independent and strongwilled, choosing to leave her family and to be part of a family she does not even know. Later, when Rebbeca is pregnant and deeply confused and worried, she takes the extraordinary decision of asking G-d directly to help her understand her fate and the purpose of her pregnancy. She doesn’t have any sort of intermediary. She takes matters into her own hands, and G-d responds – surprisingly – directly.

This week’s Torah gives us a lot to contemplate. This is a story about consequences too. Toldot is teaching us is that G-d may point us in a direction or try to lay things out for us, but it is up to us to recognize those opportunities and to take advantage of them when they arise. I as a woman understand even better this aspect of life: it is our obligation to make our own destinies.